you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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