you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
