Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
