I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
