I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
