Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
