I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
