we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
