Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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