told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
