I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
