Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
