I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
