His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
