So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
