i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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