My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
