im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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