is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize