I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
