Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
