I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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