I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize