I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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