May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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