@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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