Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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