how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
