I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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