Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
