So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
