And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You're like the curious george of whores
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
