Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
