I love black thongs
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
