Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
