Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
