My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
