Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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