last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize