we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
