I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
