U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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