I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
