I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
