Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
