My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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