FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
