You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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