I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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