maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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