I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
