kristin has been a bad kristin
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
