I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize