worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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