This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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