i can't believe i had my finger in that
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
