Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
