I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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