It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
