Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
