WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
