This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
