i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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