I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
