He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
