I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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